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Syazana.
seventeen.
still searching for the meaning of life.
JYJ & 東方神起
love makes me cry.
there's really nothing much about me.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

STOP ACCUSING ME. STOP BLAMING ME. STOP SCOLDING ME. STOP DOUBTING ME. STOP FORCING ME.














...start trusting me instead...

I'm so angry.

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7:21 PM
Monday, January 9, 2012

Hello,

It hurts to keep on lying to oneself.

Doesn't anyone hear me?

I'm locked

between

these 4 walls.

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9:21 PM
Thursday, January 5, 2012
I hate changes.

I hate last minute craps.

I hate things that suddenly goes out of course... Especially when you least expect it.

It makes me wants to bang my head against the concrete wall until it cracks my skull open and blood gushes out.

Like a stream of river.

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11:09 AM
1:47am

Hi Zana,

How have you been these days? Are you doing well? Does it still hurt?
Do you remember when you were a kid, you had everyone's love and everyone was very smitten with your cuteness? You were well adored by many. And then you thought that when you grow up, you will be an amazing person? Do you remember that?

Kids never have negative thoughts, they don't understand sadness. Which is why kids are always so positive.

But things never went your way, right? How do you feel about this? Are you sure you're alright? It's hard to face the real world, isn't it? In the real world, where people change, people change you and where you change people. It's scary, honestly.

You lost so many people, either by death or by your own foolish actions. Are you truthfully happy? Doesn't it hurts to hide it?

But honey, that's the only way to continue living.

Isn't it?

It hurts. It really hurts.

Why do flowers wilt
Why do birds fly
Why does the wind blow
Why does the moon shine above

Why am I here
Why are you here
Why did I meet you
Meeting you, that was destiny


How long has these tears been flowing? How long must I continue wearing this mask?
I'm getting suffocated for wearing this mask too long.

Zana, oh how much I hate you, words cannot express.
I'm afraid the nightmare will turn into reality.

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1:38 AM
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
I feel disgusted with myself.

What a pig.

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8:34 PM
Friday, September 23, 2011

I can't hear anyone.

The train is too loud.

The train is too fast.

I'm going to die. I'm going to collide and die

I'm going to die.





I

want

to

die.




I had another breakdown today.
They always come at the wrong time.

It also seems that everyone is happy without me.

Good for you.

Labels:

9:38 PM
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
If you don't know then you can't care

...but you don't care because you don't want to know.

Isn't this just sad...?

ihyihyihyihyihy

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12:51 AM