o uo

2012-01-14T19:21:00.001+08:00

STOP ACCUSING ME. STOP BLAMING ME. STOP SCOLDING ME. STOP DOUBTING ME. STOP FORCING ME.

...start trusting me instead...

I'm so angry.

2012-01-09T21:21:00.001+08:00

Hello,

It hurts to keep on lying to oneself.

Doesn't anyone hear me?

I'm locked

between

these 4 walls.

I hate changes.

2012-01-05T11:09:00.004+08:00

I hate last minute craps.

I hate things that suddenly goes out of course... Especially when you least expect it.

It makes me wants to bang my head against the concrete wall until it cracks my skull open and blood gushes out.

Like a stream of river.

1:47am

2012-01-05T01:38:00.002+08:00

Hi Zana,

How have you been these days? Are you doing well? Does it still hurt?
Do you remember when you were a kid, you had everyone's love and everyone was very smitten with your cuteness? You were well adored by many. And then you thought that when you grow up, you will be an amazing person? Do you remember that?

Kids never have negative thoughts, they don't understand sadness. Which is why kids are always so positive.

But things never went your way, right? How do you feel about this? Are you sure you're alright? It's hard to face the real world, isn't it? In the real world, where people change, people change you and where you change people. It's scary, honestly.

You lost so many people, either by death or by your own foolish actions. Are you truthfully happy? Doesn't it hurts to hide it?

But honey, that's the only way to continue living.

Isn't it?

It hurts. It really hurts.

Why do flowers wilt
Why do birds fly
Why does the wind blow
Why does the moon shine above

Why am I here
Why are you here
Why did I meet you
Meeting you, that was destiny

How long has these tears been flowing? How long must I continue wearing this mask?
I'm getting suffocated for wearing this mask too long.

Zana, oh how much I hate you, words cannot express.
I'm afraid the nightmare will turn into reality.

I feel disgusted with myself.

2011-10-18T20:34:00.001+08:00

What a pig.

2011-09-23T21:38:00.002+08:00

I can't hear anyone.

The train is too loud.

The train is too fast.

I'm going to die. I'm going to collide and die

I'm going to die.

I

want

to

die.

I had another breakdown today.
They always come at the wrong time.

It also seems that everyone is happy without me.

Good for you.

If you don't know then you can't care

2011-09-13T00:51:00.001+08:00

...but you don't care because you don't want to know.

Isn't this just sad...?

ihyihyihyihyihy

3AM - This are my true feelings

2011-09-12T02:55:00.005+08:00

It is 3am. I am writing this because I truly have nowhere else to express it.

We meet again, it seems like I only come back to you when I am at my limit.
I am this close to breaking.

I don't know what occured today. I really don't.
But I just started crying. I cried really hard.
It came back. I think it came back... (Why won't it leave me alone for good?)

I have no one. I truly have no one.
Yet, I still have to put on this façade even with my family. I can't let them know. I can't, it is such a stupid thing..

I am all alone now. I think that if I died, only my family would notice. I don't think anyone else would. Is it all my fault? I don't like to think of it as my fault.
I didn't do anything wrong. That's unfair.

Why do people always get what they want but I? I hate them. I hate you.
Everyone has really nice friends and best friends. Friends who are so close to them and texts each other 24/7. Everyone has lovely friends. Someone to hang out with, to talk with.
Everyone but I.

I am tired of always being the one taking the initiative to start even a conversation. I don't like being the only one who texts, it makes me look like a desperate freak. It is like, you don't care about me at all. So, why should I continue this? If I'd never taken the initiative, you won't ever message me. I am hurt, I am deeply hurt....

I feel stupid right now. I see everyone on Facebook suddenly knowing each other. "Oh, my best friend knows my other best friend." and suddenly, what best friend?

I am so left out. I am so outcasted. I am so hurt. But no one cares. No one even remembers me.
Of course, why would anyone want to befriend a retarded stupid person like me?

Everyone is friends with each other, except me.

I am so alone. I am so lonely.

Hate me, hate me, hate me, that's all I'm born for.
This feeling is horrible. My eyes are swollen from too much crying.
But what does it matter? No one cares.

I am so jealous, you have so many friends. Which is probably why, having one less ugly dumbo(me) won't even be noticeable for you.

I am crying again. (No one cares)

2011-06-24T19:25:00.001+08:00

Everyday I'm falling.
But what they don't see is that I have wings.

2011-06-24T00:48:00.002+08:00

My brother is a really happy man inside out. He faces lots of setbacks but he always manages, somehow.

A few weeks ago, I formspring-ed anonymously to my brother the question: "How do you fight depression?"

He replies: "Always look on the brightside of life. Do things that will make you happy."

Tomorrow, he is leaving for Thailand as part as his military trainings. It will be difficult for him, just as it was for my other brother who had gone through hell. But I believe in my brothers, always able to pull through things. Things will be fine for him.

Note, I should learn from them.

my words.

2011-06-19T20:45:00.006+08:00

I stumbled upon the twitter accounts and blogs or whatsoever accounts of people who hates me.
And then I stared at my own, filled with sadness and depression.
People may think that I am just having my teenage emotional moments. They don't understand me. They just choose to ignore me and leave me alone.

Looking at all this, comparing all of this, I totally feel so pathetic.
If these people who hate me would just see what I am going through right now...or see how pathetic I am by reading my posts, I am positive they would laugh at me. Right in my face.

It has been really tough for me. Even now, it is hard to explain what had truly happened. It is something people would just brush off as irrelevant, they don't see the seriousness of this. I couldn't even count on my friends so I felt scared. I felt really, really scared...

It has been nearly a month. I was crying to myself every day, and every time I knew I was alone. The feeling is just horrible and I still am afraid of it. I'm still afraid that it will come back to drown me in again...

For now, I just wish someone would have a nice chat with me. I don't want to depend on anybody, because I have said it before, everyone is too busy with their own real life to bother about how you are.

Besides, I think that my friends find me as a nuisance... Why bother them with things they don't want to be bothered with... I am such an outcast.

Sometimes, I feel so insecure. I wish I knew what to do... I just wish someone would hug me and just tell me that things are okay.
But I know that won't happen.

Day 12

2011-06-10T22:03:00.002+08:00

Today is a very sad day. Can I have a hug? I guess not.

Received news that my friend is going through an operation today. I wish he'd recover fast..

Day 11

2011-06-09T19:57:00.004+08:00

I want to talk to someone ...How are you today?

There's a girl in my class that would talk to me with hatred in her voice. I just feel like tearing up thinking about it. Its not the fact that she might hate me scares me, its... something else... Feels as though I don't really have friends..

Day 10

2011-06-08T19:34:00.001+08:00

I’m the writer who lost his purpose
The end of this novel, how am I supposed to write it?
My own Fiction
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I keep writing these 3 words
Everything is Fiction; Setting the warn out pen on the old paper strained in tears Everything is Fiction
This story can’t be happy or sad

Day 9

2011-06-07T19:57:00.001+08:00

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone

Day 8

2011-06-06T22:17:00.001+08:00

Who am I to anyone...at all? No one. Not someone special...at least...

Day 7

2011-06-05T22:22:00.003+08:00

The more as the days passed, the more I am convinced that I am alone.
I don't hate the world for hating me, really. The only person I hate... is myself...

No one can hear me. This is my silent cry.
I am so pathetic...

2011-06-02T22:05:00.001+08:00

I get hurt.
From words.
From no words.
I get hurt...either way.

Day 4

2011-06-02T00:34:00.003+08:00

Some uncle was leaning his crotch against me when I was sitting down in the bus. He was standing awfully close to me.
I was gonna fucking cry.

Someone please hug me....& tell me things will be fine.
Day 4, I need to sleep.

Day 3

2011-06-01T21:08:00.002+08:00

Visited my friend at the hospital today.
He says it hurt so much when he got hit by the truck that he ended up crying in pain alone until he got unconscious.

My friend is a very strong man. He's always smiling to us and is such a lovely guy...
Even the strongest man cry.
What am I?

2011-05-31T23:49:00.001+08:00

I really am alone aren't I..?

2011-05-31T23:48:00.002+08:00

That feeling when no one gives a fuck about you.
I think if I died right now no one would be even sad about it. Or neither care about it.

2011-05-31T23:47:00.001+08:00

Its not even day 3 yet and I'm just so fucking depressed.
Fuck, I hate being alone.

2011-05-31T22:09:00.001+08:00

You don't know me
you don't even care
you don't know me
you don't wear my chains

Day 2

2011-05-31T19:18:00.002+08:00

A classmate of mine got into a terrible accident.
It was so bad he needed to be admitted to the ICU.
It just shows how fragile your life is. You may die in the next 3 hours without knowing.
Maybe I don't mind actually...

Day 1

2011-05-30T09:17:00.001+08:00

Start of my recovery.
First step: learn to love myself.
The most difficult step ever...
Stop crying and be strong.
It would be nice if someone could hear me out...but I'm all alone.

i

2011-04-16T00:24:00.005+08:00

cause'

are

young

and

weak.

we're

still

learning

how

get

stronger.

stronger would we become.

we can.

no love, no glory

2011-04-03T23:11:00.004+08:00

seventeen;

You'd never understand happy, if you don't experience unhappy.

You'd never know what love is, if you don't feel hatred.

You'd never have learnt to regret, if you hadn't made the wrong choices/path. In which you'd never learn from your mistakes if you'd never regretted.

You'd never appreciate if you don't experience your lowest point.

No love, no glory.

Story of the prophet and the blind jew beggar

2011-02-25T23:56:00.003+08:00

i am going to write a true story tonight, about an old Jew who was blind, jobless, maybe did some beggar work near the market place to survive and also known by the public in that territory as a person whose mouthful with vulgar swearing towards the Prophet, he's always cursing about the Prophet to the public. Surely he hated the Prophet s.a.w, more than he could say. Weird, he had never seen who he was swearing all those while. people who passed by would just ignore him be in his poor neglected condition. No one seemed to care of his welfare and considered as a nuisance....except to one man.

This one man, made feeding an old blind jew as his routine...until one day, this kind man stopped doing his usual feeding activity. As usual, that blind old jew would shout saying that the Prophet was the cause of his bad luck for that day and continue cursing the beloved Prophet s.a.w. as his way to throw his tantrum. He was governed by hatred which benefited him nothing.

On the day the Prophet wafat (passed away), the market place was not busy as before. After Saiyidina Abu Bakr was appointed to become the new khalifah (leader), he tried the best he could to continue what the Prophet s.a.w has been practicing during his reign. The sunnah was what the Prophet s.a.w left for us to follow were all in the knowledge of Saiyidina Abu Bakr. He felt that there was something still undone.

So, one day, he asked Saiyidatina Aisyah, her daughter and also the wife of the Prophet s.a.w, about what were the thing that the Prophet would be doing that was not known to him. He wanted to ensure the 'continuation' of the Prophet's activities during his life.

She told him that the Prophet used to feed an old blind jew at the market place everyday without fail. In no time Saiyidina Abu Bakr rushed to the market place and searched for the mentioned blind old jew. He saw an old blind man, sitting at a corner, busy cursing the Prophet s.a.w out loud. Realizing that there was a 'stranger' near him, the old man yelled at Saiyidina Abu Bakr asking him to go away. Saiyidina Abu Bakr told him of his purpose to be there was to feed him. The old blind jew scolded Saiyidina Abu Bakr telling him that he didnt want anyone but the only man who used to feed him daily.

Saiyidina Abu Bakr tried to convince him that he was the person who always feed him everyday. with anger he yelled 'no, you are a liar, the man's voice is soft not like yours'. Saiyidina Abu Bakr smiled and soften down his voice and tried to put the food into that blind old man's mouth.

Again he yelled saying 'the man who used to feed me, will never give me hard food, he will chew it first then slowly put it into my mouth, else i would be chocked!' in his full temperamental voice. Saiyidina Abu Bakr was saddened, his eyes were soaked with tears and ran on his cheek. he chewed the food to small pieces and kindly put into the readily opened mouth of that arrogant old man.

Then when he wanted to put another chewed food into the old man's mouth, again that ungrateful old blind jew yelled ' the man who used to feed me will never force feed me, he will wait until i swallowed the food completely...and he will do that until i am full ! '. Saiyidina Abu Bakr's hands were shaking for him couldnt bare his emotion and burst crying. It was a quiet moment, and after a while, he asked the old blind man who was the person who treated him with full of kindness and love.

with a sober tone of voice, the old blind man answered ' how would i know, he just came to me everyday, talk softly to me asking me whether i am hungry, and kindly feed me until i am full....i never asked his name anyway '. With tears and semi husky voice (due to refraining himself from sobbing), Saiyidina Abu Bakr told him that he man who fed him daily was the beloved Prophet Muhammad s.a.w., the man that he has been cursing everyday.

It was told that before his last breath, the blind old jew had converted to Islam. Islam came to him and he found Islam, through the beauty of akhlakh and sahsiyyah (attitude) of our beloved Muhammad s.a.w. The Prophet s.a.w could be praying and setting duas to Allah to give taufik and hidayah (way of truth) to the old man everytime to put food in his mouth. Subhanallah.

dream high

2011-02-01T23:40:00.004+08:00

The story doesn't just end here: "If you realize your mistakes, reflect and correct yourself, and grow... Your story is far from over. So don't lose your patiences just because you weren't fast enough. If you go slower you can see more along the way. If you ask me which person will grow stonger, I think it would be the one who took it slow."

- Teacher Kang, Dream High

disappointment

2011-01-10T19:57:00.003+08:00

The intention was never to disappoint.

I burnt the midnight oil.

Studied till late 4am.

Lost sleep because of fear.

Cried before the paper.

I didn't fear of failing.

I fear of disappointing everyone.

Those who expected from me.

But I disappointed them anyway.

I feel like I've lost a heap of self-confidence.

Just like that, they've disappeared into thin air.

I feel very awful right now.

And I just want to say that I am truly sorry.

I tried.

I really did.

But I'm just not good enough.

Never was anyway.

+

2011-01-04T10:04:00.002+08:00

2010 has made me realised that life doesn't wait for anyone. It's either you do it, or you'll have no time to. It may be the worst year of my life, with all the endless bitchfights, collecting more and more haters by the day, misunderstanding, Olvls, but 2010 has indeed been the year that I've learnt to look at those problems in a different light. I've learnt to smile when I'm angry. I've learnt to laugh when I'm sad. I've learnt to let myself listen to others and not just let it be all about myself.

I completely agree with this. It has said everything that has got to be said.

reality

2010-12-30T22:31:00.003+08:00

Sometimes in life - u gotta snap out of it & realise the world won't stop just for u. U have to accept reality & move on. Life is not one big happy fairytale. It can get really tough, but you have to keep moving because only the strong ones will survive.

You may be punched in the face. Get hit where it hurts the most. Get salt rubbed in your wounds.

But you see, no one will care.

Why?

Because everybody is just too busy with their own lives to stop and give you a hug and tell you that everything's okay.

They're too busy watching tv, taking care of their kids, studying, shopping online, watching their favourite dramas, working to stop what they're doing just for you.

Nothing would be okay.

Even if they assure you that, its all a lie unless you yourself get to change the whole situation and make it okay.

Don't you get it? Its your life.
Therefore only you can change it.

You can have the biggest problem in the world but as much people you try to consult in,
the only person that can help make it turn around is you.
Not your friends.
They can't do anything except give you words of advice.
And that's all.
It won't change anything.
It won't at all.

When I was a kid, I thought that everybody in the world was nice enough.
Like what I've been taught in school.
Be nice to others.
And things would be fine for you.
But the world is a lie.
Everybody would like to lie to you as much as they want to.

Fairytales only happens in stories. Happy endings only happens in dramas.

The world, the reality out there is much harsher, much more harsher then what we'd learnt in school.

Don't you see, we've even been lied to when we were young. The world is a bloody lie.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."
Therefore, you just gotta, "Wake up and live " — Bob Marley

--

2010-12-29T17:59:00.001+08:00

If yesterday I said I was going to die

then no, its today.

I shouldn't have gone to work.

swore i was going to faint.

Now I feel so weak.

and every part of my body hurts so bad.

really hurts.

my chest, its burning again.

also, I keep tasting blood in my throat.

I feel fcking horrible.

I can't even move anymore, therefore I'm using my phone to type rn.

I don't want anything.

Just.... let me rest ok...

박수쳐

2010-12-28T21:58:00.003+08:00

I think I'm going to die.

The inside of my chest is burning.

My throat is dry and it hurts so bad.

My cheeks are flushed.

I feel so awful right now.

Let me get out.

Of all this shit.

Please....

For how long

will this go on?

why

2010-12-27T22:14:00.006+08:00

Sometimes,

I wonder why things always turn so horrible for me.

Things always go wrong.

Why can't I have a peaceful life.

Why, why must all the bad stuffs happen to me at the same time.

It makes me want to cry even more and more.

I see people with good relationships,

good life,

carefree mind.

Why, just why can't I live a day like that?

I hate myself so much.

Everything about me...is hateable.

I often find myself crying every single day now.

I wish this emotions would stop.

I hate how I am now.

How there's always tears in my eyes.

How smiling had never hurt this much.

How I often have to tell people I'm fine.

I'm fine really. Really I am.

Really. I'll be fine.

In time to come.

I can't tell you what it really is.

I can only tell you what it feels like.

And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe.

I can't breathe.

-Love the way you lie

To you, you, you, you and you.

2010-12-26T23:13:00.003+08:00

To the ones that had captured my heart,
my soul and my mind,
Happy 7th year anniversary.
I love you.
Love you so much that I cannot understand how 5 strangers had captured my heart so well that I seemed to drown in whirlpools of emotions every time something happens to you guys.
No matter how sad or happy it is.
You guys are the only one.
With such wonderful voices,
that harmonize so beautifully together.
The love you 5 have for music, your passion,
everything-- just everything that you do, is admirable.
Its true. The love is true. No matter how hard things were, you still sing with all your hearts.
You enjoy it.
Nothing can stop this love that is burning inside of you.
Nothing.
And that goes the same for my love for you,
all 5 of you.

Go Away

2010-12-25T01:06:00.002+08:00

I wanna cry.
So bad.
But,
No one,
can know.
Or see.
These liquid falling
from my eyes.
No
one.
Especially her.

December

2010-12-19T00:25:00.003+08:00

Suppp dead blog? n__n
Been real busy these days!
Just recently came back from my 2 weeks Egypt trip and I feel so flyyyy (like a G6)
Now I've work to keep me occupied. :/
Every day make soya milk. So smelly.

I don't understand why people like to drink them.
Every time customer comes and orders: "One soya milk please." I feel like screaming to them "NO, WHY ARE YOU DRINKING THIS SHIT. I CANNOT COMPREHEND. GET OUT, RUN TO THE MCDONALDS ACROSS AS FAST AS YOU CAN. NOW."
... 8| lol

ZUNO SHOWCASE 010510

2010-05-02T02:05:00.012+08:00

PICTURES SHALL DO THE TALKING. CLICK FOR LARGER VIEW.

SO ADORABLE!!!

ticket card!

ticket!

fangifts! :D

and yes i resized them all to 640x480 since the pix were actually huge at first. *__*

I SAW THE KIM TWINS.

2010-04-30T10:25:00.004+08:00

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T TAKE ANY PICTURES. PHONE CAMERA SUCKS.

But that's not the point. The point was, KIM JUNSU AND KIM JUNHO WAS LIKE, AN ARMS LENGTH AWAY FROM ME. LALALALALALA~~~~~~

photo cr: yayajoongie @ twitter

It was the best what? 10 seconds of my life? Yup, definitely. Junho, you're so gorgeously tall and cute irl homg. >u<
JUNSU-AH, SORRY, I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING. I'M SOOOOO SPEECHLESS. ♥

~~I just am glad SG's Cassies aren't as rowdy and wild as Shawols. /runs and hides~~

I waited for only 2 hours for them, and yeah, last minute decision to go there. 8DDD
Dear Junsu/baby, have fun in Singapore, okay?~~~
oh and you too brother in-law---- /shot

YOOSU

2010-03-28T17:42:00.003+08:00

HEY! HEY! YOU! YOU! I BELIEVE IN YOOSU!

oh yeahhhhhhhhh bby~

kbye. heheh.

HAPPY 8TH B'DAY GURL

2010-03-13T11:36:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY, QIN ♥
Grow up well, okay?
Study hard. 8)
Lembu says hi.
Changmin says Happy Birthday too.
Kkkkkk bye. :3

that's not me.

2010-03-08T20:18:00.004+08:00

OHAYTHAR.

ASDFGHJKLO;PL
ASFAGFHKAGNJEV
AEVEANJBVNANBARG
AGNRJKAVNAJVNA
VNAJKVNAJKVNA
VAJLVNAKVNARLGVJNGA
AJNVKAJRNVJKANVARV
AVNJNAVJKRANGARKGNKA

Kbye.

tired

2010-03-07T19:18:00.003+08:00

I'm tired.

Can I stop now?

I'm so sick & tired.

I don't think I can do this anymore...

lost...

2010-03-06T20:30:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt lost in life?
You start wondering
where your goals and dreams are
and what your aims are.
And the reasons to continue living suddenly disappears.

You live everyday emptily.
There's nothing to look forward to.
Simply nothing.

Right now,
those are my thoughts. My feelings of life.
How do I continue living?

3rd march

2010-03-03T20:26:00.001+08:00

Happy 33rd Ronan Keating!
Your music is an inspiration.

Love,
Skyie

new blogskin

2010-03-02T16:14:00.002+08:00

NEW BLOGSKIN.
*throws confetti*

Happy Yunho is happy.

Okay bye.

(o uo)/
Hehhhhehehehehe. /shot

day before

2010-02-27T20:44:00.002+08:00

Yesterday

All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly

Yesterday — The Beatles

Wish I was special

2010-02-21T19:53:00.006+08:00

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

---Creep by Radiohead

This lyrics... are exactly what my thoughts are.

Dear Junsu,

2010-02-20T12:44:00.003+08:00

My inspiration.

My motivation.
My drive.
My love.
My junsu. /shot

Thank you for being such an inspiration.
I will work hard!
I will try to be more like you.
Never give up.

I love you forever.
(i know its one-sided but idc)

i love you like the stars above.

Dear you

2010-02-12T15:53:00.013+08:00

I want to see you, I want to see you

I’m waiting for you by that sea
My feelings for you
Whether it’s the morning, the afternoon, or the evening
I want to see you, you are my heaven

happiness…sadness…tears…
sky…stars…and my heaven

my heaven - big bang

afraid

2010-02-05T23:11:00.007+08:00

Performance = Potential - Interference
omg.

Today, reality strucked me.
Time to let go of the interference.

Time to work hard.
Show them what I can do.

I am scared.
I am afraid.
But what can I do?
I can't run away from it forever.
I need to learn how to face it and face it well.
Please guide me.
Show me the light.

I am just afraid everything might be too late now...
But it isn't, right..?

weak

2010-02-05T00:15:00.007+08:00

Cause sometimes you just feel tired. You feel weak. And when you feel weak you feel like you wanna just give up.

But you gotta search within you,you gotta find that inner strength and just pull that shit out of you,&get that motivation to not give up.

And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

-xy

Dear X & Y

2010-01-29T19:04:00.005+08:00

When you're down and out,

and feel like the whole world is againts you.
All you want is a hug and some comforting words that'll tell you
everything's gonna be okay.

All you want are some encouraging words that'll keep you motivated.
That'll make you want to move on.

Isn't this what everyone wants when they're feeling awful?

But instead,
you guys had chosen to do the other.
Hurtful words that pierces through the heart.
Words sharper than any knife that'd been sharpened 100 times.

Emotionally hurt.
When it comes from your loved ones,
it hurts the most.

Dear Jaejoong.

2010-01-25T18:43:00.003+08:00

Because I know that if I don't blog this today, I'd obviously be too lazy to blog this tomorrow.

So...

Happy Birthday Kim Jaejoong.

You gorgeous man. :DD
I'm early one day. Heheh~

DBSK ♥

2010-01-17T20:09:00.005+08:00

Showing love through the interwebz. *u*
click for larger view
.

I don't wanna hear.

2010-01-17T01:47:00.002+08:00

I don't wanna hear, don't wanna hear. I don't know, don't wanna hear, don't wanna hear. I don't wanna know. Don't wanna hear, don't wanna hear. The truth, I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna hear. I don't know, I don't wanna hear, don't wanna hear. I don't wanna know, I don't wanna hear, don't wanna hear the truth.

The truth is ruthless. Toothless but fanged.
Two-faced bruteness. Roofless in the rain.
The crude taste of sane. A suitcase full of pain.
The truth is truthless. A moot case of blame.

--Lesson 4 (Tablo's Word)

Let's

2010-01-16T00:30:00.003+08:00

Let's make love.

Let's pretend we're the only ones in this world.

Let's pretend nothing else matters but you and me.

Let's be together.

Let's elope to a place far away from troubles and disasters.

Dear Junsu, please read my blog. (again)

2010-01-14T23:11:00.007+08:00

Dear Junsu,

You're my idol. My star. The one I really look up to now.
You're also my ideal guy. /shot
You've my 101% full respect.
BUT MUST YOU REALLY DO A KISSING SCENE?!

;__________________;
Love,
skyie

Dear Junsu, please read my blog.

2010-01-13T23:27:00.006+08:00

Dear Junsu,

I LOVE YOU.

; _____________;

Kbye.

imy...

2010-01-13T20:54:00.007+08:00

Where'd you go?

I missed you so much. I regretted not spending more time with you when you were actually there.
I was an ignorant fool.
I took things for granted.
I am sorry...

Remember the old days?
You were a barber. A simple man but with a kind heart. You were someone I looked up to. You were the one that never fails to make me awed. You'd strong faith in God. You were strict about religion.
You doted on us alot.
I wished I was young forever, then you'd still be here...

Everyone loved you.
You loved everyone.

Why... why couldn't the last days with you be something you'd actually remember?
Maybe God loved you too much and didn't want you to remember any pain this world had for you.

My idol, please guide me...

10 Muharram 1430 H.

wheeee~

2010-01-12T13:34:00.002+08:00

Changminz iz luking geud ovar thar. *u* Man I love this pic of him sfm. rofl.

Anyway, I didn't attend school today~ Plz do not be asking why. /rolls away/

So anyway, nowadays I do realised that my parents been talking to me about doing well like Yana did. D:
10 points for O's?
IDKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. Can I make it that good? D:

Damn.

If you're asking about what kind of course I want to aim for, I just want something that has got to do with Graphic Design shizz, y'know?

But mum's like, don't aim for anything. Just aim to get really low marks. D: Btw, low marks in O levels = better.

Of course I want to do well ; _______; who doesn't?

Dear Junsu, plz be lending me your courage and determination. Kthnx.

tired.

2010-01-11T18:25:00.001+08:00

Oh, look, sleeping Junsu. Rofl.

I feel tired. Emotionally. Ideky.
The O levels results came out just now.
Feeling the pressure already -,-
My cousin got 10 points. D:
Which is actually bloody good,
therefore mum expects the same from me. T___T
Tbh, I don't even think I can do.

Damn this life of mine. Have you ever wondered why life exists? Why we live? Why we're here? These questions had always been in my mind all this while. Questions like, "What is the meaning of life" especially. I don't know if I'll ever find the answer you know? Seriously, different people have different defination for that but it seems like I haven't been able to find my defination of the meaning of life. :(

Feels like I've no goals to live for.
Feeling rather crappy rn. I need motivation, pronto.

First post in 2010

2010-01-10T19:35:00.001+08:00

Hello Junsu, how are you today? I hope you're fine. I miss you alot. :(

Anyway.

First post yaw~ Idk why I had the urge to come back to blogger. I deleted my previous one because blogger wasn't really being friendly to me last time.

Maybe I'm still too used to blogger? I've tried LJ and Multiply but in the end, no matter how bitchy blogger had been. I guess I still like it.

And oof, since I hadn't been in blogger for quite awhile. I totally had a headache reading the codings. D:
It took me around 4 hours to do the blogskin. Lol. But its worth it of course. ^^

Sorry, not much to post today. ^o^