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Syazana.
seventeen.
still searching for the meaning of life.
JYJ & 東方神起
love makes me cry.
there's really nothing much about me.

Monday, December 27, 2010
why

Sometimes,
I wonder why things always turn so horrible for me.
Things always go wrong.
Why can't I have a peaceful life.
Why, why must all the bad stuffs happen to me at the same time.
It makes me want to cry even more and more.
I see people with good relationships,
good life,
carefree mind.

Why, just why can't I live a day like that?
I hate myself so much.
Everything about me...is hateable.
I often find myself crying every single day now.

I wish this emotions would stop.
I hate how I am now.
How there's always tears in my eyes.
How smiling had never hurt this much.
How I often have to tell people I'm fine.
I'm fine really. Really I am.
Really. I'll be fine.
In time to come.

I can't tell you what it really is.
I can only tell you what it feels like.
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe.
I can't breathe.
-Love the way you lie

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10:14 PM